Happy Valentine: 3 things to know if you're thinking of marrying a DIY naturalista!

photo credit : leighann-renee

photo credit : leighann-renee

I already see the look of frustration on your face, but where else do you expect me to put all the hair products I buy?

How are you doing, my loves?   Now since we are in February, the month that celebrates black history… and love, it seems like a great time to appreciate the beauty of black hair along with some relationship advice!

  So it’s Saturday morning and I just finished a co-wash and a full head of Bantu knots. My hands were dipped  Cantu leave-in conditioner, Eco gel, for the last two hours and I can’t help but laugh when I think about what my future husband would do if he had to sit through this every week, especially with a nappy-haired girl like me who does her own hair!

So in this month of love, here’s a list of things to know if you’re getting to know a hot naturalista or planning on marrying one. It really is simple.


Don’t make concrete plans for Saturday mornings

Newsflash: naturalistas are not that different from our permed sisters! I’ve been in both worlds so I know.  Saturday mornings are more often than not, dedicated to taking out twists, co-washing or getting protective hairstyles done. If you live together or are married, please do make sure you use the bathroom first, because once we get in there, you are not likely to see us for another couple of hours! I’m sure you know how to fix breakfast, right? Awesome!

It probably is best to reserve date plans till after 2pm, because by then, we would have  had a soothing co-washing session, our curls are absolutely popping and we finally know what we want to wear! What most people do not realize is that natural hair can take up as much time as relaxed hair or probably even  more. It is certainly a labour of love, you see.


FaceTime with her includes her bonnet/silk scarf

Listen, I know when you first met her, she had a tightly curled bop, her hair was shiny and everything about her spelled effort-less and flawless. Now you're six months in and you're hoping you're going to have a sex-fuelled face-time session because... you know, love. Brother man, do you have any idea how much time it takes to section hair, water and oil each part, and then twist them each night? Yea, probably not. So please get used to seeing my silk scarves ( because natural hair code 154 : reads that a naturalista will not sleep without a silk covering. It is an offense to waste any moisture by using cotton or any other unprescribed fabric) in  our loving FaceTime sessions.  Learn to kiss  me through the phone... with my bonnet on.



You might from time to time need to be our hair apprentice

Unbeknownst (I’ve always wanted to use that word)  to many,  there is a lot of woman-power that goes into prepping, treating or styling natural hair. If you keep short hair and you are a 4b/4c type like me, ( those are labels for hair texture by the way ) then you know there things you need to do to keep your curl pattern intact. If you have long natural hair, you have to constantly keep it fresh, curled and full of moisture. It's also pretty much the same type of stress when you need to take out your overdue protective hairstyle. Since they say love me, love my dog, as a loving husband, you should be ready to lend a hand to help us take out hair when the time comes. Especially the back of our heads. Not only will it be a sweet gesture, but our hands hands actually get tired, often.   Also did you know that helping your partner do her hair, is perfect timing for deep conversation?  In good and bad times, remember? You have to stick it out with us.

Photo Credit : charisse-kenion

Photo Credit : charisse-kenion



She might need more cabinet space than you

You see our hair is constantly changing. In textures and lengths. This means,  we might need to try out a new product every other month just to see what works for us. When we don't like it we might switch back to the old. I already see the look of frustration on your face, but where else do you expect me to put all the hair products, i buy? If you're dating a DIY naturalista please try and manage the little cabinet or wardrobe  space you've been allocated. Our concoctions, brushes, rollers, leave-ins and shampoos all need a cool place to stay and simply cannot share with your razor-blades, and your two boxes of perfume. Please be a darling and move them over there.

Now that we've got that covered, I think you're in for a loving relationship! Happy Valentine and I do hope you learn to love our natural hair just as much as we do!