What’s the one thing you don’t want in your life anymore ?
So do you notice I am trying to write more these days? I’m doing this AH-mazing thing I called, Not Overthinking, (Insert fake exaggeration gasp!). This essentially means I refuse to let a blog post sit for more than two days in my Evernote just because it feels underwritten. Anyway, when I was writing this, I WAS taking stock of the year so far, evaluating my response mode to things that happen around me and others everyday. I had to rate it : How am I doing these days on a count of 1-10? I would say a strong 6.
There are many things I would want to change about myself. Don’t get me wrong, I am quite comfortable about imperfections and I recognize the importance of process. And I know do everything is a process.
But last year, I thought about all things I said were non-negotiable at 30 and I realise the one thing I didn’t add and probably the most important was not being Vulnerable to Change.
Change is evitable. We hear that a thousand times. You wake up every morning at 5:15 am, you know it is going to take an hour to get to work, 6:15 am. You know you have an another hour and half before work actually starts. But what does this mean then, when there is a road blocker on a Monday morning on your street. It takes an hour and half (this time) to get to work, which means less time to get prepared for an already stressful day. What if you have an important meeting that day? What if you don't have enough money to get a cab to get you there faster? Do we just throw the whole damn day in the can? That would be ideal.
It throws you off, doesn’t it ? We are all inherently vulnerable to unexpected change and this can be inconvenient as hell. Life’s events fail (sometimes) to give us a memo. Like me, I’m sure many times, we’ve thrown our hands up in the air and asked “Whyyyyy?”.
Let me give you an example. I was work at a client’s site just the other day. I was writing, in the middle of my thought process, I get a call from my sister that I’ve got a flooding situation at home. Times past, my natural inclination was to throw my hands up in the air. Why? Because i am worrier. I get mad at why life can't make things just a little easier for me. I don’t understand why it has to be this hard for me when it is so easy for others.
But this time, although I had just a few moments to calm myself before the chaos began, I had to ask, "is it really any easier for others?”
"So all of my home space is flooded , now what? It’s water, it only means I have to figure out how to get it out. I don’t have all the resources I need but I know people who do.”.
Mind you, I didn’t drive back home feeling like my day was about to get any better just because I was thinking practically. I knew the scope of work that lay ahead of me. Long story short, however, between pumping water out of the house, cleaning and drying everything, slipping and hitting my butt on the floor, I actually had a tiring day but a good laugh with my family.
When I talk about vulnerability, I see a strong link with perception. We are as vulnerable as our perspective. A bad situation is only as bad as you allow it in your mind’s eye. In other words, there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable but there are concerns about how we perceive vulnerability and change. Is it sign of weakness? Or simple humanity? Your perception controls how you move forward. The reality is life will continue to throw curveballs. Sometimes it will feel like you just can’t catch a break. Everything will either happen altogether, too fast or too slow and while our reaction to life’s circumstances cannot always be controlled, it can be managed.
I write this because I wish that most of us, myself included, remembered this when things get stressful. It’s hard to do so in most cases but in the rare moments when we catch our thought process, we can boss our way out of any situation. The process, I repeat, the PROCESS will be arduous and discouraging, but the quality of mind, it’s strength, pulls us through. This year, I have learned that everything I have put my mind to, privately and professionally, CAN have a rewarding effect, ENTIRELY, on how I choose to look at it.
I believe that within us, we’ve all been given a will that supersedes our own fears. It lays dormant until we are ready to give it life. I have seen it work. So as the days go by, I refuse to carry with me a kind of vulnerability that is futile. My vulnerability will mean I acknowledgment my circumstance not the “woe is me” mindset when my world gets destabilized. A better option would be to wear a great pair of sunglasses and get this shit poppin!
So two questions for you as I wrap this up:
1. What’s the one thing you don’t want in your life anymore ?
2. On a count of 1-10, how are YOU doing?