#MiniBlog : Invalidated Feelings, Inspired by Kevin Hart
Hey all, so this is a personal post but i am sure some of us can relate. Have you ever gotten into an argument that ended up with you feeling confused about you were upset about? You find yourself asking questions like “Well, was i overreacting?” “ What the hell just happened?” Well, i do too. I recently watched a re-run of Kevin Hart’s Seriously Funny special on Netflix. One of his jokes was about a strategy that let’s a man escape an argument with his woman: When she gets loud, you get LOUDER. “Slam the door and get out. It’s gotta be quick” Watching the comedian act it out was hilarious, i will admit. But i will say it got me in my feelings a bit because that is truly how most disagreements tend to go right? In fact, most unresolved conflicts people have stem from lousy communication.
The truth is humans have a desperate need to save face. It doesn’t matter if they are wrong. Our natural inclination is most definitely NOT to listen, it is to be right. Now to do that, more often requires dismissing the other person’s concerns and thoughts. I think one of the biggest conflicts in human relationships come from us belittling or being dismissive of another’s feelings. We don’t have control over what other people process, but we do have a responsibility to be sensitive and careful about how we respond to it. It's easy to let confusion settle into your mind, when someone you care about trivializes your thoughts. Even if it's done to bring you some comfort, you have to ask, are you being coddled? Are you getting a fair hearing? Are you being dismissed?
This is a quick post to tell you, that while your thoughts, struggles and emotions are not always a representation of you who are, they are valid and tangible.
Never accept that, even when someone makes you feel as though, your misgivings are not important or you are simply a nagger. You are not. You are deserving of positive AND negative moments. You are human. You are deserve to be heard, respected and understood. .